Semi-Wordless Weekend: National Harbor & Chicken on the Grill

On Saturday, Daddy-O treated me to an afternoon at the National Harbor. It was a cross between a belated Father’s Day and celebrating my graduating from Mason. Whatever it was, it was a beautiful day on the water.

We walked around some and decided to have some lunch. The restaurant I chose on a dime wasn’t what I was looking for, so we went to Rosa Mexicano (the one he originally planned taking me to).

This was one of those moments where “Father knows best” definitely applies.

Rosa Mexicano was a delicious choice. For one thing, they make their guacamole right at your table. For another, they have a delicious gluten free menu. And our waiter was amazing; he worked with the chef and me to pick out an entrée that was also soy and refined sugar free.

Everything was good. It is definitely a restaurant that I not only recommend, but plan on going back for more. We walked off our meal for a while, stopping in a few stores and looking at the large limbs of the buried man sculpture. He even was kind enough to by me a new bento box for my lunches at camp (more on that later).

By Sunday, all the energy I had left went into food shopping for the week and grilling chicken. 

I still don’t know why it took us this long to buy a grill, but our weekly Grill Day is one amazing new tradition I look forward to every Sunday.

Commemorating Summer with a Meal

Summer is the season of extremes, the season of hot, sticky weather and the season of powerful storm-fronts. Clear blue skies and the scorching sun make beaches a preferable environment and grilling the cooking method of choice.

After all, who wants a kitchen heating up the whole house when it’s the perfect time to cook outside and the cool indoors can welcome you?

We celebrated the first day of summer on Thursday (it was within the first twenty-four hours EST, so I’m counting it), and the grill seared the lamb pieces and caramelized the squash and eggplant in their aluminum foil pockets. Mama Dazz and I took turns watching the grill as I put on the finishing touches of my quinoa tabouli and mint watermelon lemonade (recipe below). Everything was prepared with care (sipping on New Grist gluten-free beer all the while). Everything was eaten with gusto. Everything was delicious and harmonized well together in flavor, texture, and presentation. Everything I took a bite or sip of reminded me of the beauty of the summer season.

The first days of summer have been filled with preparation for summer camp at the community center: learning the morning dances; decorating the rooms and the “Art Cart” (I’m the Art Specialist for the first three weeks); attending conferences in regards to team-building, creating a nurturing environment for the campers, customer service, and the ethics and principles we should bring with every day; and making friends with such an amazing group of people.

I wish summer camp went on like this all year long, because I love this program. I hope to update you all with the art projects the kids make, many Bento Box Snapshots that adhere to Judaic principles (the community center and camp is Jewish-oriented, though many who participate, such as myself, are not). I will be working on keeping my lunches and snacks as kosher as possible, and the camp is willing to work with me around my dietary restrictions.

I love this job already, and I’m so excited for the challenges ahead.

The watermelon was initially going to be part of a virgin watermelon mojito drink, but I only had lemons on hand. It was refreshingly light and yet harmoniously flavorful with amount of ingredients. The amount of each ingredient wasn’t measured out, so I suggest tasting as you go, but the watermelon should be the main ingredient, followed by the peppermint and then the lemon juice. You can put it all through the juicer, or use a powerful blender and strain the pulp.

Mint Watermelon Lemonade

1 “Small” (between 9 and 12 pounds when whole) watermelon, cut from the rind in medium-sized chunks
1 handful Peppermint, coarsely torn into pieces
Juice from 4 – 5 Lemons* (depending on how “lemony” you want it) 

In small batches, blend the watermelon chunks on a low pulse until it has a gazpacho consistency and strain the pulp over a large bowl to catch the juice.
Continue blending in small batches, the last one containing the mint and lemon juice, and place the drink in glasses to serve for any summer feast.
Serve chilled or slightly below room temperature.

Makes 6 – 8 glasses.

*If you would like to make mojitos from this recipe, simply replace the lemons with lime and add rum (or keep it kid-friendly, if you prefer). It really doesn’t need additional sweetener, but do so to your preference. And I'm sure you could make an amazing soft drink with some sparkling water added to it.

The First Vacation of the Summer

Spending Father’s Day in North Carolina as part of a five-day adventure with Grandpa B, Grandma D, and Mama Dazz was just the vacation I needed. I thought about bringing my laptop along, to blog whenever I found a quiet moment, but those quiet moments had other plans for me.

For one, without the computer screen glaring at me, tempting me with social media and “Bisy Backson” tendencies, we traveled around the state to a centuries old graveyard, ate watermelon at the beach, bought freshwater fish for Grandpa B’s lacking aquarium, fed leftover breakfast toast to his chickens, and cooked amazing dinners without recipes.

 

I had the opportunity to take in the beauty of a June morning without a camera in between, and breathe in the summer air without a care in the world.

It was a great vacation.

I came back to Northern Virginia on Sunday, wishing many of the amazing fathers in my life a happy day. And for the second Sunday in a row, we took out our new charcoal grill and I can happily say my first time grilling bone-in New York strips were a delicious medium-rare. And after cooking veggies with Grandpa B on his grill, I can’t wait for grilling more than just meat on Sundays (now the official Grill Day in the family for as long as the seasons and weather permits).

A few things came out of this vacation: one, learning about Mama Dazz’s side of the family tree; two, how to take photos with my iPod touch and Nikon D50 interchangeably; three, I’m in love with W. B. Yeats and his work; four, I am officially starting a garden this summer, and finally, I really, really, really want chickens.  

If I had chickens (and ducks and goats and horses…), I wouldn’t have to go to the store for eggs ever again, and all I’d have to do is go to the coop and get what I needed for this recipe.

Cast Iron Skillet Custard with Veggies & Ricotta Cheese

30 ml Coconut oil
100 g Carrots, grated
175 g White mushrooms, thinly sliced
1 Medium red onion, coarsely chopped
2 Garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 tsp. Sea salt
1 tsp. Cracked pepper
1/4 tsp. Thyme
1 pinch Tarragon
200 g* (4 Large) Eggs
400 ml Water
120 g Ricotta cheese
3 Small tomatoes, quartered

Preheat the oven to 325ºF.
Place a 10-inch cast iron skillet over medium heat and add the coconut oil.
At the oil’s smoking point, cook the carrots, mushrooms, onion, and garlic cloves until softened and slightly browned, and stir in the seasonings.
Turn off the heat and set aside.
In a medium-sized mixing bowl, beat the eggs until frothy and a light yellow color and fold in the ricotta so it is fully integrated.
Pour the egg mixture into the pan and place the tomato wedges around the edges (much like the numbers on the face of a clock).
Bake for 1 1/2 hours, or when a knife runs clean from testing the doneness in the center.
Serve warm (or cold) over your favorite side dish, preferably rice or quinoa.

Makes 4 servings.

Happy Herbivore Tendencies

There’s been a lot going on lately, a lot of great things, and it means that posting has been rather slack for a few days. I’m going down to North Carolina on Thursday for a long weekend to celebrate Father’s Day with Grandpa B and Grandma D, so I wanted to do as much as I could on Meals with Morri until then. The FAQ page is almost completed and ready to be published in a day or two, and there are a number of recipes I’m very excited to share with you all before Thursday.

If you have ventured to my Recipe Index page, you’ll see quite a collection of lacto-ovo vegetarian and vegan delights to enjoy. On a quite a few occasions my wheat-free lifestyle has been confused with a meat-free one. Maybe it’s because “wheat” and “meat” rhyme, or that both lifestyles can be considerably healthier than the Standard American Diet (SAD). But I do consume dairy, eggs, and meat on a daily basis. On some days, I have vegetarian meals with some egg, milk, and cheese in the mix. And then there are days where my herbivore tendencies shine.

Now, although I’m not a full-throttle vegetarian (lacto-ovo or otherwise), I do enjoy such dishes immensely. Some of my favorite foods are not animal derived, and I usually only notice this fact after eating it with vigor. It’s when I try to make things herbivore (i.e., vegan) friendly that it doesn’t turn out as deliciously as I’d hoped.

Remember my muck monster muffin flop? Well, let me introduce you to its cousin, muck monster smoothie. It essentially had the same components: vegan, with banana, spinach, and almond milk. And it tasted okay, but I wasn’t in love with it. With a packet of the chocolate-flavored (not big on the taste) protein powder and over 240 ml of almond milk, there was a serving of fruit (banana), vegetable (spinach), and grain (brown rice). It did keep me full until lunchtime, so it fulfilled its job in that aspect. I think I just tried too hard to keep it vegan and that’s what did me in. After receiving my tub of Vega One protein powder (the natural flavor), I want to continue trying to make total meal shakes with the specifications of having every food group presented (save the ones from animals).

Learning from that flop, I'm starting to see it’s when I don’t think of making it vegan is when I truly enjoy it… like socca. You can never go wrong with socca. After my vegan breakfast attempt not going as well as I’d hoped, I was in the mood for socca in the form of a wrap. But we didn’t have any leftover meat on hand, and I wasn’t hankering for a slice of Gouda. We did, however, have plenty of fresh vegetables and the ingredients to make guacamole.

Thus, the socca GLT (guacamole, lettuce, and tomato) wrap was born! It’s the type of vegan sandwich that is easy to make, with simple ingredients that come together beautifully. And if you feel it needs some extra oomph for your taste buds, feel free to add some seasoned quinoa, buckwheat, or rice to the mix. You won’t be thinking “vegan” while you’re eating this, only that it’s delicious.

Socca GLT

For the socca wrap:
60 g Garbanzo bean flour
90 ml Water
1/4 tsp. Sea salt
1/8 tsp. Poppy seeds
1/8 tsp. White sesame seeds
1/8 tsp. Caraway seeds
1/8 tsp. Whole cumin seeds
1/4 tsp. Black sesame seeds, to garnish while cooking
Coconut oil, for greasing the pan

For the filling*:
Guacamole
Baby lettuce leaves
Tomato, thinly sliced

Combine the ingredients for the socca (with the exception to the black sesame seeds) in a measuring cup that can contain at least 240 ml.
Let it sit for thirty minutes on the counter until thickened.
Place a large cast iron skillet pan (or a stainless steel pan if you prefer) on medium heat.
Melt the coconut oil and at its smoking point, pour in the batter across the bottom and as thinly as possible.
Once the bottom has set, sprinkle the sesame seeds on the uncooked side and place it under the broiler until fully cooked.
Remove the socca from the pan and let it cool before adding the guacamole, lettuce, and tomato.
Slice in half and enjoy with an equally delicious smoothie, vegan or otherwise.

 Makes 1 serving.

* The filling isn’t measured out because you can add as much of the ingredients as you want in the wrap. I just made some guacamole on the spot with 1/4 avocado, juice from half a lemon, and cut up some jalapeños and white onion for some crunch. 

Pass the Bread

Almost any gluten-freer will tell you that they first thing they ever tried baking gluten free was bread. Sometimes they bought a gluten free bread mix, while others attempted to make it themselves. And then, if they were desperate, they bought it from the store.

Don’t misunderstand me; commercial gluten free bread has come a long way since then. Gluten free flours were coarser, made to fill the void of this staple food rather than make something substantial. The bread loaves were dense, only edible when toasted. There were times I recall taking a bite and found myself needing a glass of water just to swallow. And let us not forget the creativity in which ingredients were combined. In most cases, we see a higher percentage of starch in place of wholegrain flours, or multiple gums and a higher sugar content to make it moist and palatable (though the use of all three in moderation is perfectly fine). Everywhere I looked, gluten free bread were simply fillers for an otherwise breadless lifestyle as I knew it, with chemically things I couldn't even pronounce.

I didn’t want fillers. I wanted substance. I wanted bread: minimal ingredients for a good slice of deliciousness.

Toasted and ready for dippin'!

I will be honest, however, when I say that gluten free bread is different… you know, besides the gluten free part. Gluten free grains have been used to make bread for thousands of years before gf became a lifestyle, such as the cornbreads of the Americas and injera in North Africa. Gluten free flours milled from buckwheat, rice, hemp, nuts, seeds, and sorghum have been used alongside wheat, barley, and rye for just as long. The reason why gluteny grains were so popular in the first place was the gluten protein that enabled bread to rise, to be sturdy and soft at the same time, and its reaction to yeast.

Here’s the thing, though: you don’t need gluten for a good piece of bread, as the participants of this month’s Gluten Free Ratio Rally will tell you. It takes effort, yes, and definitely experimenting with different flour combinations and additional ingredients, but it is possible to enjoy gluten free bread with wholesome ingredients made at home.

For my entry, I had this idea to make a grain free loaf with sun-dried tomatoes and basil. I used the ratio of five parts flour to three parts water and tried Jim Lahey’s no-knead method for a hearty loaf. And I got a hearty loaf all right. A few hundred more and I could have made quite an eco-friendly brick wall that would intoxicate many a bird or squirrel.

So I strayed away from my first idea and thought what went wrong. Clearly it was missing something, and I definitely needed to use a certain amount of yeast for a certain amount of time. Two bread flops later, I found what had been missing (eggs) and realized something about yeast.

Yeast and I have a finicky relationship. I love how it is alive before the baking process, how it completely changes a loaf of bread and the almost tinny taste it provides. It is a beautiful ingredient, both for baked goods and brewing. But as I said before, sometimes we just don’t get along.

Savory French Toast

So I hope the GFRR can forgive me for making a hybrid, as I used eggs and leavening agents synonymous to quick bread making, though it does not contain fat or dairy in the dough. And you know what? My entry is quite an amazing flatbread, and I will happily tell you why.

This bread is highly adaptable. I’ve toasted it, dipped it in chili, eaten it straight from the refrigerator, and made savory French toast. It is the perfect component for an open or closed face sandwich, and ever so tasty with a smear of soft cheese or nut butter and honey. Have it for any meal or just when you want a quick snack on the go. But believe me when I tell you, this is a great bread to have on hand.

And it didn’t need gluten (or yeast) to be delicious.

No-knead Sun Dried Tomato and Basil Flatbread

200 g Garbanzo bean flour
200 g Quinoa flour*
95 g Blanched almond flour
2 tsp. Sea salt
480 ml Lukewarm to hot water (a little on the hotter side)
2 Large eggs (about 125 g), lightly beaten
2 tsp. Baking soda
10 ml Unrefined apple cider vinegar
85 g Sun dried tomatoes
5 g Dried basil
1/2 tsp. Rosemary powder
Olive oil, for greasing the pan

In a large mixing bowl, combine the flours and salt with the water and let it sit on the counter until lukewarm.
Preheat the oven to 400ºF.
Stir in the eggs and the leavening agents and leave the dough to rise for ten to fifteen minutes (this dough will look and act much like a thick batter).
Fold in the tomatoes and spices, and then pour into a 12 x 16 cookie sheet coated in olive oil (if you’re worried about sticking, line it with parchment paper and use the olive oil as flavor), and cook for 25 to 30 minutes until browned.
Let it cool for fifteen minutes, and then slice into 16 squares for your enjoyment.
For later use, place in a plastic bag and put it in the refrigerator or freezer.

Makes 16 slices, or 8 – 16 servings.

*I ground whole grain quinoa in a spice grinder and had a medium-coarse "polenta" consistency (hence the slightly hotter than lukewarm water). But finely ground quinoa flour would work just as deliciously.

Karen of Cooking Gluten Free was our generous host for this month’s challenge. What I love most about her (and her awesome site) is this very true statement in her About Page: "Through all the years that I have been a part of the gluten free world, I am continually impressed with the giving nature of every person that has started a business to help the gluten intolerant." She personifies her “gluten free, giving back” philosophy, as I believe all of the GFRR participants strive to do with their blogs, businesses, cookbooks, and recipes.

So thank you, Karen, for paying it forward.

Here are the beautiful bread entries from this month’s challenge (all of which look AMAZING):

Adina | Gluten Free Travelette  Seedy Sandwich Bread
Angela | Angela’s Kitchen  Our Family’s Basic Gluten Free Dairy Free Bread
Aunt Mae (aka ~Mrs. R) | Honey From Flinty Rocks  Chia Millet Bread
Brooke | B & the boy!  Buckwheat-Oat Bread
Charissa | Zest Bakery  Cherry Pecan Pot Bread, Gluten Free 
Claire | This Gluten-Free Life  German Vollkornbrot (Seeded Bread)
Erin | The Sensitive Epicure English Sandwich Bread (gluten-free & egg-free)  
Jenn | Jenn Cuisine  Gluten Free Boule
Jonathan | The Canary Files Gluten-Free, Vegan Mediterranean Soda Bread
*Karen | Cooking Gluten Free!  Gluten Free Sandwich Bread/Gluten Free Naan
Meaghan | The Wicked Good Vegan  Vegan Gluten-Free Bread
Meg | Gluten-Free Boulangerie  Ciabatta (gluten-free, egg-free/vegan)
Monika | Chew on This!  amaranth skillet flatbreads, amaranth mini pita rounds
Morri | Meals with Morri No Knead Sun-dried Tomato & Basil Flatbread (yeast free/grain free)
Pete & Kelli | No Gluten, No Problem  Gluten-Free Challah
Rachel | The Crispy Cook  Gluten Free Chickpea Sandwich Bread
TR | No One Likes Crumbley Cookies  Gluten Free White Bread
Tara | A Baking Life  Gluten-Free Sandwich Bread & Boule

Updates, News, and Cool New Features

If you told me in April of last year how much Meals of Morri would grow, I would have been wide-eyed and incredulous. I look back at my old posts fondly and see so many wonderful things: how my photos have improved (although I am still learning); how my understanding of hypothyroidism has broadened; how rock climbing and yoga have changed my life; and finally, how my recipes have been seen all over the world.

It’s amazing and mind boggling and absolutely fantastic.

There are a couple of things I want my readers to be aware of in the next few weeks/months that I’m particularly excited about:

1. Why my Fitness Page is m.i.a. (coming soon!): It is currently being updated to look a lot like my Health & Hypothyroidism page. I wasn’t really happy about my fitness log idea, because I would get so down on myself for not doing it exactly as I’d written. So what’s going in place of it, you’re asking? Rock climbing, yoga, and other fantastic activities I fall in love with along the way.
2. A FAQ page (coming soon!): This is going to be your go-to page for any questions you may have in regards to my recipes, cookbook and product reviews, my blog, my health, and my photography. And if you find I don’t have an answer to a particular question, feel free to write me an email.
3. Post variety: Besides recipes, I plan on doing more product reviews, video posts, organic gardening, foodie adventures, discussing what I find concerning thyroid function, fitness fun (how-to’s, places, and helpful hints), and non-recipe recipes (i.e., hair care, skin care, gluten free arts and crafts, etc.).

In the meantime, you can enjoy…

1. Meals With Morri has a Facebook page: Yes! Finally, a place where you can be notified of recent posts, ask questions (and answer them), provide solid feedback for when I’m stumped on recipes, or write about what recipes you want to see on the site.
2. Drinks, Smoothies, and Shakes: Remember when I said to enjoy those muffins while I was buying Vega One in bulk? Well, I meant it and it is due this week. As I fall more in love with rock climbing and yoga (that, and the hot summer months are just around the corner), I want to make sure that people remain hydrated with nutrient-dense drinks.

In fact, here is a smoothie recipe to get you started. It’s a green smoothie… with kombucha.

Ah, kombucha… a most refreshing fermented delight. What? You’ve never heard of kombucha? Well, let me enlighten you: it’s fermented tea. Pure and simple.

Some people may roll their eyes at my love for this stuff, because it’s become this “trend” in the alternative health world. But it has been around for a lot longer than hippies and New Age dippies. From the Qin Dynasty (221 – 206 BCE) in China who referred it as “a beverage with magical powers enabling people to live forever” to 19th century Russia’s “tea mushroom” (чайный гриб) and “tea kvass” (чайный квас), it is said to aid digestion and promote other awesome things for your overall well-being. I personally just love the stuff, and have two cultures on the kitchen counter living and fermenting green and black teas as we speak.

But until I can drink my own, I treat myself to a bottle of GT’s Kombucha. I’ve tried many of the flavors, and like every single one I’ve had. The one I have the most often, however, is the multi-green. I enjoy the “green” taste of it, and it is a perfect base for a green smoothie.  

Greener than Green Kombucha Smoothie

240 - 350 ml Kombucha* (I used G.T.’s multi-green)
1 Frozen banana
85 g Frozen spinach
1/4 Avocado

Place the ingredients in the blender and blend until thoroughly combined.
Pour in a large glass and serve cold.

Makes 1 serving.

The Breakfast of Champions and other Delectable Things I Want to Share

It’s funny how much seems to change when you’ve slept. When you don’t sleep, eating healthily and exercising won’t mean diddly-squat; you’ll retain water, gain weight, crash, and be a crying mess like I was last week. This is even more significant to those with thyroid problems, because insomnia and other sleep disorders are very common.

So what is the sleep-diet connection? To paraphrase this WebMD article by Denise Mann:

"Exactly how lack of sleep affects our ability to lose weight (or in my case, maintain it) has a lot to do with our nightly hormones. The two hormones that are key in this process are ghrelin and leptin. Ghrelin is the ‘go’ hormone that tells you when to eat, and when you are sleep-deprived, you have more ghrelin. Leptin is the hormone that tells you to stop eating, and when you are sleep deprived, you have less leptin.

More ghrelin plus less leptin equals weight gain."

I noticed this immediately after the first night fully slept. Not only was I not starving, I was also fuller on less. My exercising had been plateauing for months, and it improved literally overnight. I had a more pronounced belly pooch than ever, making me extremely self-conscious and aware of my weight, and it flattened within twenty-four hours.

That being said, I’m a different Morri than I was a few days ago… and loving it.

Food, I noticed, had lost its luster since my SMI started. I didn’t enjoy it as I once had, nor did I enjoy shopping for it. I made recipes, and I loved making them, but my well-rested body savors the process even more. 

When I wake up, I smile.

When I eat, I can appreciate it.

Which brings me to the title of the post. I always became so frustrated with my 2:30 a.m. breakfasts, because I usually wanted to put more effort into the meal. But when you’re starving and tired, you don’t want to use up the little energy you have. To think, months of breakfast ideas neglected because of SMI. Months of the same breakfast bake, the same flours, the same cooking process, the same feeling of exhaustion and anger and…

You know what? That’s enough bitterness for today. This post is about breakfast, and a yummy breakfast at that.

On Saturday, Mama Dazz and I ventured out to MOM’s Organic Market, and I reveled in the experience like it was my birthday. Shelf after shelf had products that were Morri-friendly, and I had forgotten how much I missed going on foodie adventures.

(source)

Why do I like MOM’s? Well, the location in Alexandria is a breath of fresh air, currently with tomato plants for sale outside and an arrangement of delights inside. You are greeted by sincere smiles, personnel willing to help you and answer your questions, and delicious produce grown with love and the environment in mind. We went there for raw apple cider vinegar and came out with bags of cool stuff. Funny how this seems to happen quite a lot...

Anyway, here is a list of a few of the treasures from our MOM’s excursion that I am officially in love with:

(source)

 Eden Foods Organic Ume plum vinegar

(source)

 New Grist gluten free beer

(source)

 Coco Hydro all natural coconut water electrolyte mix

(source)

 Wax Orchards fruit-sweetened dark chocolate sauce

(source)

Vega One all-in-one nutritional shake (single packets, natural and chocolate flavor)

Saturday was a great day of gastronomic proportions. I’d forgotten how much I loved the creation of a meal, the excitement of trying new products, and the beauty of the simple things.

I’m particularly excited to share my Vega One experience, because it was part of the breakfast that I’m sharing with you today. I bought the two flavors to try them out before buying it bulk to see if I liked it, how it managed my blood sugar, and how it affected my body. My plan was to have a nutritional shake with the apple muffin recipe I promised to make three weeks ago. And let me tell you, it definitely was a Breakfast of Champions combination.

I made the shake with the natural-flavored Vega One single-serving packet, 1/2 a frozen banana, and 275 ml Almond milk (vanilla, unsweetened). It wasn’t overly sweet, and it reminded me of cake batter in terms of taste. Plus, it is dairy, gluten, and soy free with no added sugar, all things I look for in a protein powder. It is also a favorite of the Pure2Raw twins, Lori and Michelle, and you can find a list of their other favorite plant-based protein powders here. So while I’m ordering Vega One in bulk, enjoy this much belated muffin recipe.

It's great to be back.

Apple Spice Muffins

60 g Buckwheat flour

60 g Garbanzo bean flour

60 g Mesquite flour

60 g Almond flour

1 tsp. Sea salt

1 tsp. Cinnamon

1/2 tsp. Cloves

1/4 tsp. Nutmeg

120 g Unsweetened applesauce*

240 g Whole milk yogurt*

2 Large eggs*

1 tsp. Bourbon vanilla extract

1 Granny Smith apple, finely diced

1 tsp. Baking soda**

1 tsp. Unrefined apple cider vinegar**

Coconut oil, for greasing the muffin tins

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.

Combine the flours and spices in a medium-sized mixing bowl and set aside.

In a separate bowl, mix together the applesauce, yogurt, eggs, and vanilla, and then add it to the dry ingredients.

Fold in the apple to the batter along with the baking soda and apple cider vinegar, and let it sit on the counter for five minutes.

Pour the batter into a regular-sized muffin tin and bake for 30 minutes or until done (which can be seen by poking a knife down the center and the blade comes up clean).

Remove the muffins from the oven and let them cool for 10 minutes in the pan before removing.

Serve warm or place in the fridge for later consumption (and FYI, they freeze beautifully).

Makes 10 – 12 regular-sized muffins.

*If you can recall from my most recent muffin post, I stressed the importance of the wet ingredients being a room temperature. But since this recipe doesn’t have any fat such as butter or oil that would otherwise harden in the presence of cold ingredients, it isn’t necessary. 

**In place of baking powder, I usually do equal parts of baking soda and apple cider vinegar/cream of tartar. But if you if have baking powder on hand, homemade or otherwise, replace both baking soda and vinegar for the same amount.

Honesty

Honesty. Let us reflect upon the word together and discuss its meaning. The word is often overlooked or taken for granted as a virtue, because the truth can be a hard thing to face. But as they say, the truth will set you free, and I hope my being honest does the same.

Writing about hypothyroidism has been a fun learning experience, including the feedback I’ve received from people telling me their stories. I’ve written about my frustrations and my experimenting with food lifestyles and thyroid medicine doses. I did a little research on what foods may affect the thyroid in a negative way, and started looking into what forms of exercise can be beneficial to those with thyroid disease. But there was a symptom of hypothyroidism I kept close to my heart, something that I felt was slowly ruining my life and all I held dear.

Three little words, my dear readers: sleep maintenance insomnia (SMI).

A good cat nap is apparently hard to come by.

This post was originally going to portray a "Why me?!" diary entry, filled with ranting, less than positive language, and feeling sorry for myself. But after two days of fully slept nights, with the exception of getting up to use the bathroom and drink a glass of water by my bed, I hold my head high and wish to tell you this story honestly and completely.

There’s that word again. Honest.

 Now, I have told people of my less than awesome sleeping habits, about how not days, not weeks, but months passed by with my SMI waking me up between 2:30 and 4:00 most mornings on less than five hours of REM sleep.  I woke up starving, so I would fill my clawing hunger with an early breakfast and attempt to go back to sleep. But the damage was already done. Over six months of this terrible secret of mine kept me from being social after hours and rekindling my orthorexic tendencies and anorexic habits. I was so terrified that I was gaining weight I upped my workout habits to such a degree that it made matters worse.

Thus the vicious cycle repeated itself, day after day and night after night: lack of sleep leads to eating more leads to working out. I looked myself in the mirror and saw distortion. I found myself bringing out my worst inner critic, the one that screamed “Not Good Enough” and “How are you not losing weight? You must be doing it wrong.” I tried, dear readers, I really did. I did eat. I did exercise. And I did try certain remedies for a complete REM cycle: yoga, hot baths, a light snack right before bed, no caffeine after three in the afternoon…  

Herbal tea? Been there... done that.

But every morning I looked out to see streetlights glaring against the pitch black night, and felt my stomach growl like a predator that demands an easy meal.

I became so obsessed with controlling things like when and what I ate, how many times I exercised per week and for how long, because I felt that my life was spiraling out of control. No matter how busy I was or how many posts I published on Meals with Morri, my fatigue pushed me to work harder, to see more people, and to exercise more often.

And I could see the looks of disappointment in my friends’ faces when I couldn’t stay out long or not go out at all. It broke my heart that my lack of sleep only gave me certain hours of the day open to see people, and that was filled with exercise, work, and blogging. I could feel the concern and the confusion when I didn’t accept how they saw me: busy, in shape, and helping others. Finally, on Tuesday, it all came crashing down.

I was on my parents’ bed, my body heaving with uncontrollable sobbing. I was so tired it hurt, my mind restless and always thinking despite its exhaustion. I was frustrated that my fitness regimen wasn’t doing what I thought it would be by the end of May (i.e., firm tummy, toned arms, happy Morri…), and I was beyond angry how I looked at myself.

I just wanted eight hours of continuous sleep each night. Is that so much to ask?

Mama Dazz, who also has hypothyroidism (but in the form of Hashimoto’s), consoled me the best she could. From what came of the conversation, all my problems were the cause of my insomnia. It is improbable, highly unlikely, and extremely difficult to lead a healthy lifestyle while suffering from insomnia. As one of the symptoms of hypothyroidism, it is a leading cause to weight gain (or in my case, my body was always “on”, so it couldn’t keep up with my lifestyle and held onto my "plush" for dear life). I had restricted myself and controlled everything in my life to such an extent that, when I couldn’t complete a basic state of being, I felt so broken.

So there I was, curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out that shook my entire body, feeling like I was crazy, stupid, and the most useless sentient being in the world. If my SMI had gone on for another month, it is highly likely I would have been hospitalized until I was considered “normal” again. Between a rock and a hard place, I chose another option, one I wasn’t thrilled about but I did it anyway out of desperation.

I took medicine to sleep.

In the name of my holistic beliefs and philosophies, taking medication was something I’d refused for months. At the time, I felt like I would be a complete hypocrite to take over-the-counter pharmaceuticals. I’m personally not a fan of antidepressants, and as such I do not take them. I don’t take diets pills for weight loss, and instead eat healthily to the best of my ability and exercise when I can. I felt like taking medicine to sleep was, well, cheating. And if I was a hypocritical cheater, what made me think I could run Meals with Morri with a clear conscience?  

Bangin' bread on little sleep.

At the moment, sleeping well for two nights in a row is quite an achievement, and my body is following suit. It’s starting to understand how exhausted it truly is, and what it means to slow down and turn “off”. I’m not pushing myself to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to prove how happy I am. I’m calmer and quieter, with a “sparkle” in my voice that I was told has been missing for quite some time.

There are quite a few theories why SMI has reared its grumpy head: too low a dose of thyroid medicine, boredom, restlessness, etc. And because the medicine to help me sleep seems to be working, I’m going to continue taking it for a few weeks and see how it goes. Mama Dazz has also put curtains in my bedroom to keep it dark and cool, which has also helped enormously. I’ve started seeing progress in my eating and not being ravenous all the time. Oh, and my climbing seemed to improve overnight, so I’m rather happy with that in particular .

My sincerest hope is that I’ll continue sleeping, and that we can continue to share our stories honestly with each other. I end this post with an interesting read I found on sleep:

“People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.'

If you didn't know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen.

They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.'

So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.”

(George Carlin, Brain Droppings)

Pleasant dreams, my dear readers. Here’s to finally sleeping in on a Saturday morning.